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Emotional arguments do not have a legal basis and are often not relevant for a standard lawyer, civil-law notary, accountant, banker or judge. While these arguments are relevant to the person seeking justice because he wishes to be assisted with respect and with maintaining personal values in a divorce or family-related conflict, this is not easy. In daily practice, as lawyers we are still confronted with this in legal proceedings. Our legal system is organized according to right and wrong; according to winning and losing. Not according to solutions or happiness or to ‘what is correct’.

As a result, in this system we are not able to consider the underlying problems or situations in a proper way and are unable to find an ideal overall solution, which is a pity for everybody involved.

Petra Beishuizen, the founder of the Holistic Practice HUB: ‘I think it is of the utmost importance that together we realize that one-ness, working together and sharing is a much better starting point to settle disputes when compared to a battle. People have relationships with one another, emotions from the past play a part and have given rise to the conflict, in most cases it is much more important to heal these aspects instead of having your eye on being in the right or on the money.’

Dualism does not help you to get through a divorce in a good way. How can you only fight about money in such a reorganisation of the family structure? Or apply the criterion of right or wrong?

It is not nice to leave your ex-loved one behind in such a broken state, it is not nice for the children if the father is a bogeyman. It is not a solution and it is no longer necessary either.

Opt for a creative divorce, where everyone involved is better off! 

Look at each other’s qualities and establish a link between them. Concentrate on the flows and feel that love has the ability to nourish. Listen with attention. Do not get affected by negative arrows of frustration and pain, often from the past. Knowing how to think ahead. Dr. Wayne Dyer put it as follows:
Think at the end, or see the end result, visualize that and enter that picture as a destination in your personal navigation system. That is the road you are going to follow, the road to growth and freedom.